Dear MPs, You Are Seduced, So What?


It is utterly thrilling to fathom that save for discourses on trips to the Coast to squander our taxes, Jubilee and NASA MPs have been offered a profound basis for unity thanks to the UhuRaila newly found Bonhomie.

In the 12th Parliament, the legislators from both divides have been acting like incredulous, jilted lovers where one walks out of the room in protest when the others brings up an issue like vetting. Interestingly, the selective resistance did not apply when it came to oiling their already bursting wallets.

Now that they can finally sit in the Assembly without walking out on or practicing estate Karate skills on each other like the two young honorables, they need to be reminded that this rare ‘romance’ must be used to congeal into an August House worth the Honour in their titles and to discuss issue of paramount importance to the people who they represent.

On Tuesday, the MPs decided to regale us with haughty spiels on how they are seduced by strangers. The narrators delivered punchy details that would reduce Martin Luther, Thomas Sankara and Nelson Mandela Freedom Speeches into Kraal talks while the rest nodded either out of boredom or out of excitement of the raunchy details.

There is nothing special about the MPs being seduced by a stranger, many Kenyans get unsolicited messages and calls of seduction left right and center.

Majority leader Aden Duale who was foaming from the mouth over being sent nude photos recently had his recording seducing a cougar go viral and became the topic of hot gossip. He is not a saint and so are the rest, many whose moral compasses are questionable.

Sources in the know reveal how MPs feast on each other but don’t deem it a ‘family breaking issue’ rather random photos they very much enjoy is?

In a move that qualifies George Orwell’s famous dictum ‘some Animals are more equal than others’, Speaker Justin Muturi has summoned IG Joseph Boinnet and his Investigations boss counterpart George Kinoti over the same.

Kenyans expect the house to discuss the two thirds gender rule, the Constitution has been flouted by those tasked to man Institutions; Speaker Muturi should summon Boinnet on extra judicial killings like the murder of Meru University Student leader Njoroge. Million of tax coffers sweat is lost in scandals that CSs term ‘normal,’ some Mps are rumored to be sponsoring ethnic violence and a myriad of issues that affect Kenyans .

But instead of getting down to legislate on issues that affect the common Mwananchi, the Mpigs are either spewing verbose over poor meals, tissue papers or the porn they watch on their phones claiming they were sent nude photos.


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